Well I guess it’s been a lot longer than I thought since the last time I felt like writing anything here. Not really felt like there was anything to really talk about that other people weren’t already discussing. Not to mention the fact that things have been quite hectic at work for a while, and I’ve had to take on a bit more responsibility than I thought I would get.
Mainly being put in charge of a few projects here and there, not as a manager, but just having to be in charge of a couple people. That’s been interesting, and challenging at the same time.
I’ve also been dealing heavily with health issues and depression. I’m on several different medications now, and honestly most of the time I’m not at work I’m vegged out on the couch because I don’t have any energy to do anything. I’ve still been playing games, and streaming a bit more often than I used to when I have the time. As to the depression, I’m just having to make some changes in my life, like learning how to live it without relying on other people to make me happy. That might sound cynical, but what I mean is learning to be happy with myself without needing someone else to make me happy.
The last few months have been rocky in the terms of friendships. I’ve made several new friends but at the same time I’ve a couple of the more important ones. I really don’t feel like getting in to specifics, but they both hurt in their own way. One hurt more emotionally because it was someone I trusted, as well the fact that they were one of the few people I could really talk to about anything, maybe even the only person. The other one, while I wouldn’t say we were “great” friends, as we never really hung out all that often was still someone I trusted and cared about. That ended up turning sour and having some drama and we haven’t spoken in 3 or so months now, and they ended up unfriending me on Social Media.
The second one stings because it was someone who I used to enjoy seeing at game nights, but now is part of the reason I choose to not go as often (a very small part, like less than 10%). The last time I actually saw this person they gave me this look of utter disdain, which hurt my feelings because I was trying everything I could to save that friendship. I vaguely suspect she has soured some of our mutual gaming group against me as well because the last time I saw them they didn’t acknowledge that I was in the room in any way.
So that hurts a lot, and it’s caused me a lot of pain but I’m doing the best I can and learning to live with the situation. I’m finally getting to a point where I’m managing though. I’ve got new hobbies, and while I don’t go to game nights as much now I still enjoy board games and the people I do play with. Most of the reason I don’t go much now is two-fold. First off, they changed it to a weekly event instead of monthly, and I just can’t go every week. Second, I just have other things I like to do. Saturdays I’m usually decompressing from work and just don’t feel like driving 20-30 minutes to the game store to maybe play games. The last several times I went I didn’t even stay all that long.
Anyways, we’ll see if I can manage to start keeping up with this a bit more again. I don’t want another solid year of wasting money on the domain if I’m not going to use it.